Wednesday, 08 Aug  2001
Wisdom is knowledge that we gain from being
stupid longer than others.

Wed, 18 Apr 2001

Mon, 16 Apr  2001
Try this, ask a number of your friends, you choose how many, whether Abraham Lincoln was a Democrat or a Republican.
The correct answer is of course, Republican, but not many seem to know it.

Wed, 14 Mar  2001
Imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
* 3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Can you guess which organization this is? Give up yet?
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

Sun, 4 Mar 2001
IS homosexuality hereditary, or contagious? 

Fri, 20 Oct 2000
Funny Quote:

He doesn't say I directly told him anything. He says that, you know, the fact that I expressed concern had an impact on him. (But) the mere expression of concern could be, I guess, taken to mean something more than it was meant."

- Hilary Clinton, in denying the claims of her former aide that she requested the firing of the White House office staff to replace them with her Arkansas cronies

Wed, 6 Sep 2000
1.  It is true that bad things happen to good people. It is also true that good things happen to bad people. The important thing is that even when those things happen, good people are still probably happy, and bad people are probably still unhappy. 

2.  Crowded elevators smell differently to midgets.

Wed, 16 Aug 2000
This one is not mine. It is from Craig Kilborn of late night on CBS, but it was SO good, it bears passing on.

Jessie Jackson spoke for over an hour about Algore, but spoke nothing of his running mate. This is because he could not think of anything that rhymes with Lieberman.

Sun, 13 Aug 2000
Windows 2000 is a VIRUS!!!

Fri, 7 Jul 2000
True POWER comes with the undeniable responsibility to try NOT to use it.
True WEAKNESS comes with the uncontrollable urge to expose itself.

Sun, 30 Jan 2000
Have you ever noticed that people who drive faster than you are jerks, people who drive slower than you are idiots, and people who go exactly the same speed as you are just trying to tick you off?

Sun, 16 Jan 2000
If you have an illness or injury that will or might kill you, force it to take your last day, don't give it the rest of your days voluntarily, through worry.

Thu, 06 Jan 2000
Why do many of the Cuban Americans that are demonstrating against Cuba speak Spanish and fly the Cuban flag?

Has the concept of political correctness destroyed the once common, "I strongly disagree with you, but will defend to the death your right to say it"?

Wed, 05 Jan 2000
Am I the only one that has noticed the similarity between Maria Shriver and the Cryptkeeper on Tales From The Crypt?